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Excommunication Forthcoming!
- Thread starter Off-Grid Artist
- Start date
This verse just came to mind as I was thinking about your situation. 1 Peter 1:29, For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake. Suffering and salvation... both are granted to you on behalf of Christ. We love the salvation part and thank God for it, but.... how often are we thanking Him for the suffering part? 
I found what VV76 wrote to be encouraging and insightful. His family has continued to live, work, and home fellowship with people.
He described it as "Taking the leap into nothing, and finding everything."
He said his whole family were strengthened and grew.
Our family has never attended a church, joined a church, or had a "pastor" besides my husband. You have more without them actually. If you had not belonged in that church they couldn't have kicked you out.
They are obviously willing to slander you, and abuse and misuse scripture. I would say they are acting as very poor representatives of Messiah. So they have taken His name upon them, but are doing whatever THEY WANT in this situation? That sounds like a violation of one of the ten honestly. This means that every scripture verse they are using to justify shunning YOU, is more accurately applied to THEM! ....including....what fellowship has light with darkness?
You may find your life positively changed by living above it all.
My husband spoke with a man a few days ago who apologized and said he had let what the pastor down here and other church going locals said about my husband cause him to avoid him. This after my husband mentioned they are all cowards who will talk about him behind his back, but won't confront him to his face. The man said he really enjoyed talking to my husband....and shook his hand more than once!
Our circle of friends includes members of several demon-nations and people that don't attend any formal services but have been honest and good neighbors.
I think it is a wee bit like Christmas. If you grow up counting down to that day and celebrating it every year you have a lot of "warm fuzzies" attached to it. Our children have never celebrated beyond attending a potluck and maybe caroling a couple times. Same with church. One advantage of this is our circle is much bigger than a single congregation, and our children consider ALL who profess Christ to be brothers and sisters in the faith. They dont save religious discussions for Sunday, they have them ALL THE TIME.
So take heart, it probably feels different, but that doesn’t mean it's bad. Just LIVE your faith. It is better to hear "well done" at the end of your life then "I never knew you" or why call you me Lord Lord and DO NOT what I say? Our loving Father in Heaven has his hand on your life and controls these things.
Men who bow to other men....get kinda too close to "praying with their heads covered."
Why ask God for wisdom if you let a pastor make your decisions? So, count it all joy and see what He has for you.
Just don't hate the haters! They will reap what THEY sow too!
He drew a circle that shut me out-
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle and took him In!
~Edwin Markham
He described it as "Taking the leap into nothing, and finding everything."
He said his whole family were strengthened and grew.
Our family has never attended a church, joined a church, or had a "pastor" besides my husband. You have more without them actually. If you had not belonged in that church they couldn't have kicked you out.
They are obviously willing to slander you, and abuse and misuse scripture. I would say they are acting as very poor representatives of Messiah. So they have taken His name upon them, but are doing whatever THEY WANT in this situation? That sounds like a violation of one of the ten honestly. This means that every scripture verse they are using to justify shunning YOU, is more accurately applied to THEM! ....including....what fellowship has light with darkness?
You may find your life positively changed by living above it all.
My husband spoke with a man a few days ago who apologized and said he had let what the pastor down here and other church going locals said about my husband cause him to avoid him. This after my husband mentioned they are all cowards who will talk about him behind his back, but won't confront him to his face. The man said he really enjoyed talking to my husband....and shook his hand more than once!
Our circle of friends includes members of several demon-nations and people that don't attend any formal services but have been honest and good neighbors.
I think it is a wee bit like Christmas. If you grow up counting down to that day and celebrating it every year you have a lot of "warm fuzzies" attached to it. Our children have never celebrated beyond attending a potluck and maybe caroling a couple times. Same with church. One advantage of this is our circle is much bigger than a single congregation, and our children consider ALL who profess Christ to be brothers and sisters in the faith. They dont save religious discussions for Sunday, they have them ALL THE TIME.
So take heart, it probably feels different, but that doesn’t mean it's bad. Just LIVE your faith. It is better to hear "well done" at the end of your life then "I never knew you" or why call you me Lord Lord and DO NOT what I say? Our loving Father in Heaven has his hand on your life and controls these things.
Men who bow to other men....get kinda too close to "praying with their heads covered."
Why ask God for wisdom if you let a pastor make your decisions? So, count it all joy and see what He has for you.
Just don't hate the haters! They will reap what THEY sow too!
He drew a circle that shut me out-
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle and took him In!
~Edwin Markham
Off-Grid Artist
Member
Thank you for all of this.
Wow! So I suppose if your wife can drive, she is able to attend, but if she needs you to drive her there, No can do. I suppose they already know that she is on board with you. Has she been given the cease and desist?
Off-Grid Artist
Member
I feel like it's implied. Interestingly, it only names one of the properties and not all of the family properties. I feel like their father knows my character well enough and also understands his daughter's personality foibles and mania enough to still welcome me around. But the whole "we 7 people" line states otherwise.
Ultimately I think it really means "please both of you stop coming around everywhere" rather than just narrowing it down to only me or only one property, despite the minutia of the statement. My brain wants to pick it apart with nuance but I think it was just a bunch of them sitting around a table putting something together based on prior experiences. They've had problems with a lot of men in their sphere coming around trying to pick up their daughters for a second wife, including the ex-husband of this close female friend of ours. This is coming from her new husband's email address as a response to me asking him to explain why he's trespassing me if he has verbally agreed with me in public.
This is from the newly married couple who commissioned a wedding ketuba from me.
So the parts of it I want to pick apart include "anyone who has asked you to stop" because that's only two people from this family technically, and the fact that it is one address and not the father's address also, and whether or not it is directed at me only or also my wife. But, anyone who wants to talk to me and find out the truth can just do so. They all know me and my character. I've done nothing wrong to anyone. I never took a pass at any of their daughters. Their mom adores us both. Their father and I have deep mutual respect for us and he has given us many gifts and support.
I think I just need to detach for my own sake and move on. Yahweh is removing the people from my life who He doesn't want in it, and our healthier friend circle is growing. Just last night I spent close to three hours on the phone with a new mentor who hasn't ever met me before and explained the whole situation. He was like "wow, that's crazy, that's completely unChristian behavior. What if you were a thief or an abuser, who cares if you have different doctrinal beliefs." He's mainstream Baptist and had no previous knowledge of polygyny, but he was like "yeah, that makes sense to me and sounds right." We just need new friends who aren't feminists.
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This is a cease and desist notice as well as a “no trespassing notice “-
Approximately one year ago Lxxx and Gxxx Mxxx had a son in law (Joe) who was promoting and grooming (also using his wife) the idea of taking a second wife. 6(six) people filed (including Lxxx and Gxxx’s daughters)reports at the courthouse as well as with the sheriff in the county which they reside.
If you continue to contact anyone who has asked you to stop, we(seven,7)individuals are prepared to file such documents again.
The no trespassing notice is without end unless written notice otherwise. The address is xxxxxxxxx
- Lxxx and Rxxx Mxxx 2/24/2026
Good plan!
This is why ya just want to let Him work in your life....and trust that He is!
Wow! It seems like there is either a low threshhold for what you have to do in order to get one of these enforced, or they are bluffing. It is one thing to file a document; it is entirely different to get law enforcement to act on it, I would think! It is one thing to say that you cannot come on their property, (we see who that entity really belongs to). You will have chance encounters though with people who attend SoM (I have lost track of how many I have had).
Off-Grid Artist
Member
Okay, so this is how yesterday went.
We left home a little early and decided to go to a closer church gathering than our own. Normally we drive about an hour and a half for church, but we pass a few on the way. So, closer is better now. We got there a few minutes behind when they might have normally started, but their start time is not always set in stone.
Two of our friends we haven't seen in a while immediately greeted us, which was nice. The pastor quickly intercepted me and told me he received a phone call and asked me to speak in seclusion.
So, our female friend, the one my age (see cease and desist above), and her husband have been calling around and telling other assemblies that I am a groomer and giving warnings about me. I don't know exactly to what extent they are pushing this narrative. This pastor though told me that I'm not banned permanently but asked me if I would please sit down with him another time because he wants to give me a balanced chance to address the accusations. Also a few members of our family-group-friends were coming there for the service, which would be a departure from their norm but not entirely unusual. We spoke for a brief while, and I told him I don't perceive this as personal and I understand his position. He stated that he doesn't agree with polygyny but he didn't call it a sin, he just used the "it was good during a different time period" stance and he doesn't want it in his church. Gathered my family in the least embarrassing way I could and then went on my way.
We went to a completely unrelated gathering with zero social overlap. I was really struggling during the afternoon but a strong spiritual mentor helped me keep grounded. Then we took my wife to meet with one of her strong spiritual mentors about an hour and a half away and I took care of the kids for a few hours so she could finally unload with someone in person.
I texted him some of my side of the story yesterday, then I continued today. They're in the hospital with maternity news today so he said it would be awhile. I have been praying for justice and clarity on this matter so just being listened to is relieving after a solid week of having to hold on tight during the emotional tension my family has been feeling. Today we finally have a solid sense of calm and peace again like normal.
We left home a little early and decided to go to a closer church gathering than our own. Normally we drive about an hour and a half for church, but we pass a few on the way. So, closer is better now. We got there a few minutes behind when they might have normally started, but their start time is not always set in stone.
Two of our friends we haven't seen in a while immediately greeted us, which was nice. The pastor quickly intercepted me and told me he received a phone call and asked me to speak in seclusion.
So, our female friend, the one my age (see cease and desist above), and her husband have been calling around and telling other assemblies that I am a groomer and giving warnings about me. I don't know exactly to what extent they are pushing this narrative. This pastor though told me that I'm not banned permanently but asked me if I would please sit down with him another time because he wants to give me a balanced chance to address the accusations. Also a few members of our family-group-friends were coming there for the service, which would be a departure from their norm but not entirely unusual. We spoke for a brief while, and I told him I don't perceive this as personal and I understand his position. He stated that he doesn't agree with polygyny but he didn't call it a sin, he just used the "it was good during a different time period" stance and he doesn't want it in his church. Gathered my family in the least embarrassing way I could and then went on my way.
We went to a completely unrelated gathering with zero social overlap. I was really struggling during the afternoon but a strong spiritual mentor helped me keep grounded. Then we took my wife to meet with one of her strong spiritual mentors about an hour and a half away and I took care of the kids for a few hours so she could finally unload with someone in person.
I texted him some of my side of the story yesterday, then I continued today. They're in the hospital with maternity news today so he said it would be awhile. I have been praying for justice and clarity on this matter so just being listened to is relieving after a solid week of having to hold on tight during the emotional tension my family has been feeling. Today we finally have a solid sense of calm and peace again like normal.
This guy is at least operating on a more biblically sound foothold. He wants to get both sides of the story, and that's good.
Excellent, sit and talk with him. He's opened the door to hear what you have to say. It will probably be the first time he'll get to hear the biblical arguments against the M-O position. Best wishes and may God bring the truth to light.
in my opinion these accusations should be dealt with a bit differently... one shouldnt answer for accusations which have no minimal evidentiary threshold. i dont think god wants this pastor, or any person, to be treating these idle accusations seriously; that includes the one hearing it, and you answering for it.
It sure woiuld be nice to not have to drive an hour and a half to get to church! That is crazy! I can say that getting removed from one church which was 45 minutes away, the next week when we showed up at a church four minutes from us, no one there knew us. They greeted us and loved the fact that we brought our boys' friends with us to church, and that was pretty much it! We laid low for a while until we gradually got immersed in the new church and involved in the church ministries, and only once did the pastor inquire why I had not joined the church. I even got the opportunity to sing a short solo in the choir and I joined the orchestra as well!
Off-Grid Artist
Member
Okay so people have started calling me. One couple is from about an hour and a half north. VERY tenuous connections to our church I thought but he's been texting me a lot, randomly, and I think it's all based on this. Quite certain. So we can see that everyone started calling everyone else immediately. That also means that this gossip has certainly landed in our neighborhood with people we don't spend time with but who have similar, partially related faiths.
It has also made it about two hours south as well. Of course we aren't talking about carrier pigeon here, it's just people calling each other. Tonight was the night that a regular weekly client would have sent me his sermon to prepare online for his weekly web sermon. No delivery of content. So that means the pastor from Saturday morning called him most likely. It's not an important part of my income, it's like $15 a week as a service to his fellowship, but he is my friend and I'd hate to not be able to help him anymore. I think my course of action is just to sit and wait. He's a very well-grounded older man.
At this point I just kind of assume that everyone I still have left in my life is going down this road. I don't have any family left, but this is a verse which just keeps coming to me from various points of origin. We've had it come up three or four times in recent days I believe:
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Matthew 7
11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?
12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
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This is a lot of change to take in - especially considering it was just an interpersonal conversation with an old friend about her marital history. We are managing though, mostly in good spirits. A lot of people are being eliminated out of our life.
Tonight I asked my wife to begin preparing her Bible notes for a big discourse, because at this point I just know for a fact that we have a huge series of showdowns about polygyny coming up in our community.
It has also made it about two hours south as well. Of course we aren't talking about carrier pigeon here, it's just people calling each other. Tonight was the night that a regular weekly client would have sent me his sermon to prepare online for his weekly web sermon. No delivery of content. So that means the pastor from Saturday morning called him most likely. It's not an important part of my income, it's like $15 a week as a service to his fellowship, but he is my friend and I'd hate to not be able to help him anymore. I think my course of action is just to sit and wait. He's a very well-grounded older man.
At this point I just kind of assume that everyone I still have left in my life is going down this road. I don't have any family left, but this is a verse which just keeps coming to me from various points of origin. We've had it come up three or four times in recent days I believe:
----------------------
Matthew 7
11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?
12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
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This is a lot of change to take in - especially considering it was just an interpersonal conversation with an old friend about her marital history. We are managing though, mostly in good spirits. A lot of people are being eliminated out of our life.
Tonight I asked my wife to begin preparing her Bible notes for a big discourse, because at this point I just know for a fact that we have a huge series of showdowns about polygyny coming up in our community.
Off-Grid Artist
Member
Could you go into more detail on this statement? I understand the point of view but would like to hear a longer description of the first sentence.
19Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. 20For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
The family should be Yah’s “sleeper cell” in the midst of a Godless society. The enemy recognizes this and has waged a campaign against the family. Hence the number of single parent “families”. This hasn’t happened simply by accident, he has made it happen by a steady erosion of what was considered normal.
Polygyny takes back ground that the kingdom of Heaven has lost. Even if a family isn’t practicing it, but merely acknowledges its truth, they are a bulwark against the moral decay.
12And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Done right, a polygynous family can be that strong threefold, or more, cord. (Sadly, all too often it isn’t done right. People fail to see the spiritual aspects.)
21That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.
22And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: 23I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.
Becoming one starts in the home, that is the core of the church. That is the church. Each family is the nucleus of the church. You are the leader of the church that exists at your property. When you drive off of your property to worship with others, you are combining your church with theirs to make a bigger, temporary, church. Together, we all make up The Church. You are feeling a bit alone right now because splinters of The Church are rejecting you, don’t lose sight of the fact that the Church begins with you in your family.
Thus it is something that the enemy fears and hates.
They are also not going to "lose" their relationship because polygyny came up. It is a very controversial thing that so-called friends can use to drive a wedge between a wife and herhusband.
Beautifully explained!
This is the entire foundation of His Kingdom and what He originally wanted.
"If you will hearken to my voice you will be a kingdom of priests and a holy nation."
Rest in knowing there are blessings for obedience.
Then too, those treating you poorly will reap what they sow, and should expect nothing less!
Is the young woman you were prospecting and talking about polygyny with in this same community? I’m thinking this is all related/interconnected. I don’t live there but that would make sense.
You put the moves on a young lady, then talk about plurality with an older lady so on and so forth. I don’t think they’re each standing in isolation from one another.
That's encouraging, and I pray it will continue to strengthen your family as the weed relationships are eliminated from the garden of your life. May those relationships that remain truly blossom into glorious beauty.
Off-Grid Artist
Member
Well I wasn't "prospecting" anyone. That's part of the problem. The older woman I was talking with about her marital woes, and the younger woman my age, they are friends. We all used to do Bible studies together every week for a few years.
Her younger sister (20?) was present for part of it. That is her accusation, that I was trying to indoctrinate her sister. But for one thing, I've long ago determined that they are not fit for wives anyway. They are aggressive anti-male feminists. It would be like bringing a hive of wasps into my current happy, stable marriage. More to the point it was actually us arguing about patriarchy v feminism and trying to redefine patriarchy for her, because in her mind the battle is patriarchy v chauvinism.
Polygyny and feminism are longstanding topics for us. The friend my age married a polygynist in her first marriage then freaked out when he tried to expand his family. She always played it as a betrayal for sympathy but during this same conversation she admitted that she already knew well in advance.