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So... What are your arguments FOR polygyny?

B

Bria

Member
Real Person
Female
My husband and I were recently revealed the truth about Polygyny. So I don't need to be convinced the truth, I am curious about how you would try to shine light on others that don't know or believe in polygyny though.

I am also wondering how others found out about it and what your arguments are for supporting Polygyny even if you're not trying to convince someone haha.

Preferably Biblical Arguments :) but open to what ever you think should be shared!

Thanks for reading!
 
I think that ultimately people only come to see this if the Holy Spirit prompts them to. Without His prompting, they'll stick with their emotional preconditioning and read monogamy-only into scripture, and will never be dissuaded from that through logic because emotions are stronger. And for most people it isn't a crucial matter, there are more important aspects of Christianity than this. So I don't try to persuade everyone, just offer pointers in the right direction for those who are of a receptive mindset already.

For those, the most effective way to shine light on this is to ask them to prove from scripture that only monogamy is acceptable to God. If God is leading them to think deep enough about this, they'll honestly find that they cannot prove it. If they instead grab some proof-text that they think proves monogamy-only and stick with it even if you show their logic is completely flawed, then they're not ready and you may as well drop the subject. Unless, of course, polygamy is actually relevant to their life in a real way and they do need to be persuaded for practical reasons, in which case you'd persist with trying to make them see sense.

For the potentially receptive, you can help their thinking by pointing them to some thought-provoking texts like 2 Chronicles 24:2-3, and by pointing out that in the original language verses like 1 Co 7:2 don't say what they appear to say in English.
 
Bria said:
I am also wondering how others found out about it and what your arguments are for supporting Polygyny even if you're not trying to convince someone haha.
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The woman who is now another wife to me asked me simple questions. I was a pastor teacher and it resulted in a complete about-face for me. The reason it's important to support polygyny is because it's the truth and we uphold the Word of Truth. It also reflects the character of God as He presents Himself as having more then one wife ( see e.g. Jer. 31:31-32).
 
It will make existing relationship better because nobody can relax.

She has to keep being sweet, feminine and fit, otherwise he will spend a lot more time with other girls.

He must keep himself in form (not just physically), otherwise there is no hope for another lady.

Incentives matter.
 
MemeFan said:
It will make existing relationship better because nobody can relax.

She has to keep being sweet, feminine and fit, otherwise he will spend a lot more time with other girls.

He must keep himself in form (not just physically), otherwise there is no hope for another lady.

Incentives matter.
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This is what I call the capitalism of polygyny, the market remains open.
 
FollowingHim said:
I think that ultimately people only come to see this if the Holy Spirit prompts them to. Without His prompting, they'll stick with their emotional preconditioning and read monogamy-only into scripture, and will never be dissuaded from that through logic because emotions are stronger. And for most people it isn't a crucial matter, there are more important aspects of Christianity than this. So I don't try to persuade everyone, just offer pointers in the right direction for those who are of a receptive mindset already.

For those, the most effective way to shine light on this is to ask them to prove from scripture that only monogamy is acceptable to God. If God is leading them to think deep enough about this, they'll honestly find that they cannot prove it. If they instead grab some proof-text that they think proves monogamy-only and stick with it even if you show their logic is completely flawed, then they're not ready and you may as well drop the subject. Unless, of course, polygamy is actually relevant to their life in a real way and they do need to be persuaded for practical reasons, in which case you'd persist with trying to make them see sense.

For the potentially receptive, you can help their thinking by pointing them to some thought-provoking texts like 2 Chronicles 24:2-3, and by pointing out that in the original language verses like 1 Co 7:2 don't say what they appear to say in English.
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That's a good point. I suppose I asked mostly because of the inevitable talk my husband and I will have to some relatives we currently share a house with. If they do not agree with the route God may take us on, I was wondering how to shine light on this to them so they know it isn't sin. Ultimately we can't change them but just want to expand ways of sharing our convictions in a gentle yet impactful way if that makes sense! Haha Of course my husband has the lead on this and he knows when it is the best time to talk with them and God has already blessed him with a lot of wisdom and knowledge. So this isn't for him but for my curiosity with other people's journey and thoughts :)
 
I think what works best is to avoid selling it. When an opportunity to share my perspective arises naturally, I consistently take it but do not bring up the topic out of the blue.
 
Bria said:
That's a good point. I suppose I asked mostly because of the inevitable talk my husband and I will have to some relatives we currently share a house with. If they do not agree with the route God may take us on, I was wondering how to shine light on this to them so they know it isn't sin. Ultimately we can't change them but just want to expand ways of sharing our convictions in a gentle yet impactful way if that makes sense! Haha Of course my husband has the lead on this and he knows when it is the best time to talk with them and God has already blessed him with a lot of wisdom and knowledge. So this isn't for him but for my curiosity with other people's journey and thoughts :)
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Many of us have known this truth for over a decade and still have had no opportunity to practice it. There's no rush. Be patient and wait for God's timing. There's a good chance that by the time this becomes a reality for you there will have been a natural reason to discuss this positively with those relatives, or they'll have moved out or (if we're talking elderly relatives) passed away. Just relax and leave it in God's hands.
 
MemeFan said:
It will make existing relationship better because nobody can relax.

She has to keep being sweet, feminine and fit, otherwise he will spend a lot more time with other girls.

He must keep himself in form (not just physically), otherwise there is no hope for another lady.

Incentives matter.
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I see that attitude as an idealistic dream of the man who simply wants more sex and sees women as commodities. In reality, if "nobody can relax" life would be pretty horrid. Frankly, I want a household where everyone can relax, including myself, not one where there is a constant competition.

Flipping it around, a woman can look at it as "I have to keep fit or he won't sleep with me", or "Those days I actually don't want to or can't sleep with him he can just go to her, I'll have him another night". One is stressful and competitive, one is relaxing and cooperative.
 
FollowingHim said:
I see that attitude as an idealistic dream of the man who simply wants more sex and sees women as commodities. In reality, if "nobody can relax" life would be pretty horrid. Frankly, I want a household where everyone can relax, including myself, not one where there is a constant competition.

Flipping it around, a woman can look at it as "I have to keep fit or he won't sleep with me", or "Those days I actually don't want to or can't sleep with him he can just go to her, I'll have him another night". One is stressful and competitive, one is relaxing and cooperative.
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It was stated a bit hyperbolically, but it’s not altogether wrong.
Surely you have you ever heard the phrase: “The honeymoon is over.” It refers to when people stop putting their best foot forward, something that real people have experienced.
Granted, you and I are not that guy. But they do exist. The guy or gal that might get lazy after the commitment is made now has the incentive to not let it happen.
 
steve said:
It was stated a bit hyperbolically, but it’s not altogether wrong.
Surely you have you ever heard the phrase: “The honeymoon is over.” It refers to when people stop putting their best foot forward, something that real people have experienced.
Granted, you and I are not that guy. But they do exist. The guy or gal that might get lazy after the commitment is made now has the incentive to not let it happen.
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I was thinking about this. Better explanation than mine.


Edited for clarification.
 
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MemeFan said:
I was thinking about this. Better explanation than mine.
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It often happens to me too, I make a statement and somebody else comes along behind me and does it a bit clearer.
 
I'd just like them to recognize that their lives are better defined by 'open polyamory' or 'serial monogamy'. By defending monogamy from this state they are basically being hypocritical. At the very least it means they consider their past relationships to have been 'erroneous'. The culture of partner-changing for the sake of monogamy is rotten imo. Defending it after participating in it is doubly-dangerous.

In nature true monogamy is super rare, and its 1:1 sexual matching for life till death. The current psychological/scientific term for what humans are doing is 'social monogamy', which is quite funny because you can see how bad they want to hang on to the word monogamy. I prefer 'failed polyamorist' myself as I think it more accurately describes the entirety of their lives and puts them on the defensive where they should be.

Understanding this, the people defending monogamy and attacking polygyny are for the most part, not even monogamous themselves - especially when their entire lives are considered. I don't quite understand why they have to classify past relationships as mistakes, but I suspect it has to do with controlling future partners out of some sense of lack or scarcity. It does seem to be about control either way. (edit: can you tell I think some of the people defending monogamy need to repent?).

True love makes room for women and children and encourages an environment of support and meaningful cohabitation rather then jealously and self-seeking behavior. The entire reason polygyny is so attacked is because the culture is so disillusioned as to what true love is.

Final Edit: I re-read the title, so I'll put my arguments for it below:

A) It's true, and it's loving, and it's the will of God to establish the truth in love.

Now only if they don't see their own sin can they be against such love, all imho. So I focus on people's hypocrisy when this conversation comes up, and it has plenty for me. As you can imagine I'm a popular guy, lol.
 
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Here is another reason. Context is speaking with wife. And I believe that sex is enough for marriage.

I sleep with another girl and she gets pregnant. What I'm supposed to do? Throw my child(ren) on street and leave them without my protection and care? Why I would do that? Do you want to be in this situation? What if I don't choose you?

Polygyny is better. Forever mine, no leaving.
 
MemeFan said:
I sleep with another girl and she gets pregnant. What I'm supposed to do?
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IF you get a girl preggers, making an honest woman out of her is the right thing to do.
But why are you getting into that position in the first place? It’s not exactly a good argument for the justification of the polygynous lifestyle.
 
steve said:
IF you get a girl preggers, making an honest woman out of her is the right thing to do.
But why are you getting into that position in the first place? It’s not exactly a good argument for the justification of the polygynous lifestyle.
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I've seen people make good decisions for bad reasons. I see one of these people every time I look in the mirror.

My decision to join my family was done for purely selfish and impulsive reasons and I am deeply blessed that it all worked out for me and for my children. It could have gone sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo badly.

I am also blessed that my husband made an 'honest woman' of me and that he was patient with me instead of tossing me out the door on my butt like I probably deserved.
 
Bria said:
My husband and I were recently revealed the truth about Polygyny. So I don't need to be convinced the truth, I am curious about how you would try to shine light on others that don't know or believe in polygyny though.

I am also wondering how others found out about it and what your arguments are for supporting Polygyny even if you're not trying to convince someone haha.

Preferably Biblical Arguments :) but open to what ever you think should be shared!

Thanks for reading!
Click to expand...
Well this may open a can of worms but, to understand polygyny’s Biblical roots, then one must understand what happened in the beginning that caused the fall of mankind. It wasn’t an apple, apricot, peach, or even a passion fruit. This is where I go to begin with. Genesis. It answers the when and why, or the “original sin.” From that solid foundation a structure can be built on the subject of polygyny that few can destruct. Genesis also explains why the Messiah had to be a virgin. The Great Omission and others are great books about understanding, But Genesis really answers the question of why. In a leadership role, be it small scale or large, you will find yourself asking why more than any other question. In problem solving too, you ask why. Once we understand the truth of the origin of polygyny through asking why, then many of the other questions are answered.
 
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